Caption competition/Robbie Burns Night 25/01/2012
Good Morning Villagers.
Special offer today, two for one LOL. Firstly the Caption Competition Week 3. PM or EMAIL me your captions before Midnight on Saturday.
Last weeks winner is:- E8 ”So THAT’S what you mean by ”Pigeon-holed!!”
1. Presenting the new Bear Lunch Box!
2. The Hunny Bunch will never find it up here
3. I’ll huff and I’ll puff till I pull your house down
4. Bear with me Honey I‘ll make it.
5. I’m just a little black rain cloud….pay no attention to me!
6. You can’t hide from me – I know you’re in there!
7. ”It looked so easy when that b****y squirrel did it!!”
8. I know the advertisement said compact….
9. Well I’m the king of the swingers . . . .
1. Let’s get off and have some fun!
2. I thought the vet said I needed a Pacemaker, not a pacemaker !
3. Quicker old man! Ms Woodhouse hates us being late.
4. Singing – ”If you don’t know how to do it, I’ll show you how to walk the dog”
5. I hope you’re not leading me astray….
6. ”Elope??!!” ”You really haven’t thought this through, have you??!!”
7. ”Who let the dogs out?”.
1. My what a big nose you have!
2. A Hole in One ?. . . . No, it’s a Bogie !
3. Jeezo. . . Have you never heard of Fresh mint mate?
4. What I actually said was ” I feel a little hoarse today” !!
5. Big Mac and fries to go please, and put it on my bill!
6. ”On your bill?, Sorry mate, you’ll have to pay on the nose!!”
7. I spy with my little eye something beginning with N.
8. Mmmmm you really are getting long in the tooth.
9. I’ll get the Hump if you get any closer.
It is Burns Night Tonight, as if I would let that pass us by LOL
Scots poems. The suppers are normally held on or near the poet’s birthday, 25 January, sometimes also known as Robert Burns Day or Burns Night (Burns Nicht), although they may in principle be held at any time of the year.
Burns suppers are most common in Scotland and Northern Ireland, but occur wherever there are Burns Clubs, Scottish Societies, expatriate Scots, or aficionados of Burns’ poetry. There is a particularly strong tradition of them in southern New Zealand‘s main city Dunedin, of which Burns’ nephew Thomas Burns was a founding father.
The first suppers were held in Ayrshire at the end of the 18th century by Robert Burns’ friends on the anniversary of his death, 21 July, In Memoriam and they have been a regular occurrence ever since. The first Burns club, known as The Mother Club, was founded in Greenock in 1801 by merchants born in Ayrshire, some of whom had known Burns. They held the first Burns supper on what they thought was his birthday on 29 January 1802, but in 1803 discovered from the Ayr parish records that the correct date was 25 January 1759, and since then suppers have been held on 25st January, Burns’ birthday.
Burns suppers may be formal or informal. Both typically include haggis (a traditional Scottish dish celebrated by Burns in Address to a Haggis), Scotch whisky and the recitation of Burns’ poetry. Formal dinners are hosted by organisations such as Burns clubs, the Freemasons or St Andrews Societies and occasionally end with dancing when ladies are present. Formal suppers follow a standard format as follows:
Order of the supper
Start of the evening
Guests gather and mix as in any informal party.
Host’s welcoming speech
The host says a few words welcoming everyone to the supper and perhaps stating the reason for it. The event is declared open.
All of the guests are seated and grace is said, usually using the Selkirk Grace, a well-known thanksgiving said before meals, using the Scots language. Although attributed to Burns, the Selkirk Grace was already known in the 17th century, as the “Galloway Grace” or the “Covenanters‘ Grace”. It came to be called the Selkirk Grace because Burns was said to have delivered it at a dinner given by the Earl of Selkirk.
The Selkirk Grace
- Some hae meat and canna eat,
- And some wad eat that want it;
- But we hae meat, and we can eat,
- And sae let the Lord be thankit.
Entrance of the haggis
Everyone stands as the main course is brought in. This is always a haggis on a large dish. It is usually brought in by the cook, generally while a piper plays bagpipes and leads the way to the host’s table, where the haggis is laid down. He/she might play ‘A man’s a man for a’ that‘, ‘Robbie Burns Medley’ or ‘The Star O’ Robbie Burns’. The host, or perhaps a guest with a talent, then recites the Address to a Haggis
|Address To a Haggis|
|Fair fa’ your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o’ the puddin-race!
Aboon them a’ ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy o’ a grace
As lang’s my arm.
|(sonsie = jolly/cheerful)(aboon = above)
(painch = paunch/stomach, thairm = intestine)
|The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin wad help to mend a mill
In time o’ need,
While thro’ your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.
|(hurdies = buttocks)|
|His knife see rustic Labour dicht,
An’ cut you up wi’ ready slicht,
Trenching your gushing entrails bricht,
Like ony ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sicht,
|(dicht = wipe, here with the idea of sharpening)
(slicht = skill)(reeking = steaming)
|Then, horn for horn, they stretch an’ strive:
Deil tak the hindmaist! on they drive,
Till a’ their weel-swall’d kytes belyve,
Are bent like drums;
Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
|(deil = devil)
(swall’d = swollen, kytes = bellies, belyve = soon)
(bent like = tight as)
(auld Guidman = the man of the house, rive = tear, i.e. burst)
|Is there that o’re his French ragout
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad mak her spew
Wi’ perfect scunner,
Looks down wi’ sneering, scornfu’ view
On sic a dinner?
|(olio = stew, from Spanish olla’/stew pot, staw = make sick)(scunner = disgust)|
|Poor devil! see him ower his trash,
As feckless as a wither’d rash,
His spindle shank, a guid whip-lash,
His nieve a nit;
Thro’ bloody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!
|(nieve = fist, nit = louse’s egg, i.e. tiny)|
|But mark the Rustic, haggis fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread.
Clap in his wallie nieve a blade,
He’ll mak it whistle;
An’ legs an’ arms, an’ heads will sned,
Like taps o’ thristle.
|(wallie = mighty, nieve = fist)(sned = cut off)
(thristle = thistle)
|Ye Pow’rs wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o’ fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinkin ware
That jaups in luggies;
But, if ye wish her gratefu’ prayer,
Gie her a haggis!
|(skinkin ware = watery soup)
(jaups = slops about, luggies = two-”eared” (handled)
At the line His knife see rustic Labour dicht the speaker normally draws and cleans a knife, and at the line An’ cut you up wi’ ready slicht, plunges it into the haggis and cuts it open from end to end. When done properly this “ceremony” is a highlight of the evening.
At the end of the poem, a Scotch whisky toast will be proposed to the haggis, then the company will sit down to the meal. The haggis is traditionally served with mashed potatoes (tatties) and mashed swede (neeps). A dessert course, cheese courses, coffee, etc. may also be part of the meal. The courses normally use traditional Scottish recipes. For instance, dessert may be cranachan or Tipsy Laird (whisky trifle) followed by oatcakes and cheese, all washed down with the “water of life” (uisge beatha) – Scotch whisky. When the meal reaches the coffee stage various speeches and toasts are given. In order, the core speeches and toasts are as follows.
One of the guests gives a short speech, remembering some aspect of Burns’ life or poetry. This may be light-hearted or intensely serious. A good speaker always prepares a speech with his audience in mind, since above all the Burns’ supper should be entertaining.
Everyone drinks a toast to Robert Burns.
The host will normally say a few words thanking the previous speaker for his speech and may comment on some of the points raised.
Toast to the Lassies
This was originally a short speech given by a male guest in thanks to the women who had prepared the meal. However nowadays it is much more wide ranging, and generally covers the male speaker’s view on women. It is normally amusing but not offensive, particularly bearing in mind that it will be followed by a reply from the “lassies” concerned.
The men drink a toast to the women’s health.
Reply to the Toast to the Lassies
This is occasionally (and humorously) called the ‘Toast to the Laddies’, and like the previous toast it is generally quite wide ranging nowadays. A female guest will give her views on men and reply to any specific points raised by the previous speaker. Like the previous speech this should be amusing but not offensive. Quite often the speakers giving this toast and the previous one will collaborate so that the two toasts complement each other.
Other toasts and speeches
These may follow if desired. It is not unusual to toast the locality or nation in which the supper is being held.
Works by Burns
After the speeches there may be singing of songs by Burns — Ae Fond Kiss, Parcel O’ Rogues, A Man’s a Man, etc. — and more poetry — To a Mouse, To a Louse, Tam O’ Shanter, The Twa Dugs, Holy Willie’s Prayer, etc. This may be done by the individual guests or by invited experts, goes on for as long as the guests wish and may include other works by poets influenced by Burns, particularly poets writing in Scots.
Finally the host will call on one of the guests to give the vote of thanks, after which everyone is asked to stand, join hands, and sing Auld Lang Syne bringing the evening to an end.
Have you have all got your Haggis, neeps and tatties for tonight (sorry Jacks). I have and am really looking forward to them. Dont think I can manage 4 courses though lol.
Slainte Mhath xxx
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